My jako rodzice wkładamy mnóstwo pracy i wysiłku, aby nasze dzieci osiągały sukcesy. To, czy jest to sukces dziecka, czy nasz to już jest temat na inny artykuł. Niemniej elementem sukcesu jest porażka. Czym jest porażka? jeśli zamienimy ją na lekcje, to jest czymś dobrym i nam potrzebnym.
Przypomnij sobie szkołę, gdzie ocena 5 była sukcesem, a ocena 1 porażką. Przypomnij sobie naukę nowej aktywności – jazdę na nartach czy rowerze – na początku miałeś/miałaś silną motywację do działania, “dam radę”, ale potrzebna była determinacja do nauki a po drodze i tak pojawiały się upadki i niepowodzenia. Nic w tym złego, pod warunkiem, że umiemy sobie radzić z niepowodzeniami i wyciągamy z nich lekcje. Albo wygrywamy, albo się czegoś uczymy – co to oznacza? w obu przypadkach coś zyskujemy.
Takie podejście ma ogromny wpływ na nasze podejście i presję, która jest czymś normalnym.
Na to, czy dziecko albo zawodnik szybko poradzi sobie z porażką, ma wpływ jego pewność siebie i jak nad nią wcześniej pracował. Psycholog Guy Winch wyjaśnił gdy nasza samoocena jest wyższa, to czujemy się lepiej sami ze sobą, ale stajemy się również bardziej odporni na porażki. Badania skanów mózgu wykazały, że kiedy nasza samoocena jest wyższa, odbieramy niepowodzenia – jako mniej bolesne i szybciej z nich wychodzimy. Dlatego budowanie pewności siebie powinno być jednym z najważniejszych elementów w wychowaniu i treningach sportowca.
Radzeniem sobie z porażką można się nauczyć. Naszym zadaniem jako rodzica jest być przy dziecku kiedy doznaje porażki i pomóc mu pokonywać szybciej etapy wychodzenia z porażki. Szczególnie te, na które dziecko nie ma wpływu takie jak kontuzje czy wypadki.
Co robimy? Obserwujemy dziecko, rozmawiamy z nim, uczymy radzenia sobie ze stresem, gdyż stres łączy się z poczuciem porażki.
jak się czuję, co sobie myślę, jak się zachowuje?
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